You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
