It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
