Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
