She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
