I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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