We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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