Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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