So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
