I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
