I just threw up on my dentist
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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