I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
