whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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