K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize