Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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