i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
