Ambien. No doubt about it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
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