Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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