i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
