um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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