Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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