I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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