Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
