he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
