if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
