Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
