I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
