just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just invented taco cereal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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