Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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