I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
