i jhust puked up my retainher.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
