apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
