Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I will be naked everywhere
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
