Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
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Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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