i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
