She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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