At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this will be a night to untag.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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