I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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