I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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