Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
be right there i have to get my cape
We are all done wearing pants today
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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