you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
