we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.