I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing