don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job