I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We named our party play list daddy issues
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.