smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
