ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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