is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
