He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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