he thought i was a dude.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
