so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
