I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
