I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
