I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize