It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
God, I missed his penis.
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