I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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