If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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