We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
