apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
