is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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